by Joanie Butman


When I was on a game show at 13, I briefly entertained delusions of being ‘discovered.’ It was a crushing blow when the program aired revealing my fumbling ordinariness. Yes, I did all the silly things you mock contestants for – stuttering, making stupid moves, jumping up and down when you win. Sadly, no one discovered me, and I faded into obscurity after my brief stint in showbiz. 

At 61, I may just get discovered yet – but not for reasons any woman would aspire to. Last week, out of the blue, my daughter texted: STOP SHAVING! In a panic, she called asking if I was available to model for an upcoming photo shoot. Flattered, I eagerly agreed to volunteer. She then proceeded to lament how hard it is to find old models, a little overweight with lots of body hair. This was a new low. Apparently, she thought I’d be perfect!


The razor company where she is employed is known for using ‘real’ women in their advertisements. Personally, I’m all for airbrushing. I’d prefer not to see the ugly truth about my physique up on some billboard or floating around the internet. I know it’s all smoke and mirrors, but I prefer it that way. As we discussed the assignment, I questioned whether my demographic was even a market worth targeting because hair growth diminishes with age. I suggested she have the model shaving her chin if she was serious about appealing to women of a certain age. She thought I was joking. 


Spiritually speaking, there isn’t enough airbrushing to remedy the amount of trouble spots on my soul. Unless, of course, you have the ultimate editing provided by Christ. With unparalleled artistry, His grace covers all my imperfections, creating a version of me I could never achieve on my own. Only then can I stand before His Father bathed in the light of Christ’s transforming love and sacrifice. There’s no longer any fear of seeing the ugly truth about some of my worst moments being played out like an episode of This Is Your Life.


Finally, it wasn’t me who needed to be ‘discovered.’ Christ knew me all along. I was the one who needed to discover Him. Once I did, He began my spiritual makeover, smoothing out one flaw at a time. It’s an ongoing process. I may qualify for modeling old, slightly overweight and hairy, but inside I am in the process of becoming the ‘real’ me – the woman God created me to be. Now that’s a role I can aspire to.