Giving It Up

by Joanie Butman

This week we will celebrate Valentine’s Day and the start of Lent – a cruel coincidence for those giving up chocolate. Surely there must be papal dispensation for such an event. Regardless, I’ve always felt Valentine’s Day is a bit forced. I’d rather receive an unexpected love note on a random day for the purest of reasons, not because it was ‘Hallmarked’ as the day to do so. When I was young and the Valentines were distributed at school, I lived in fear I wouldn’t receive one. Thankfully, it is now mandatory that you share them with everyone in the class, avoiding that trauma.

On the other hand, if you are going to send a valentine to everyone in the class, doesn’t that dilute the intent to show someone special your affection? Perhaps, but my guess is that person already knows how you feel, and there are plenty of opportunities to make them feel special any other day. The ones that need the valentine the most are precisely the ones that would never get one otherwise – like the class bully or those on the fringe. Those are the people to whom you need to extend a grace you don’t feel.

God sets the example through His Word. Scripture is His love letter to us. It is for everyone – not just the people WE think deserve it. The days we are at our worst are precisely the days we need it most. He loves us because of who He is, not because of who we are. And it is His grace that enables us to offer the same to others – not with chocolates, per se, but with a helping hand, listening ear or even just a smile. Is His message of love, grace and mercy diluted because it is offered to all? Not at all, as we are all free to choose how to respond. It’s the relationship we choose to nurture through His Word that is unique to us. Each one is intimate and special – our own valentine to Him. 

As far as giving up chocolate, I ‘gave up’ that practice long ago, though it was a glaring reminder of my human frailty. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Phil 4:13) has long been one of my favorite scriptures and helped me through many a crisis. Yet when it came to chocolate, I found it woefully inadequate. He’s asked me to give up other things though (and for longer than 40 days) and given me Divine strength to do so. There are many naysayers regarding the observance of Lent, but I view it as if your spouse asked you to do something or stop doing something that bothered him, or was affecting your relationship, you’d comply. Not because you think it will make him love you more but because of your love for him. It’s an expression of that love and illustrates to him the importance of your relationship over your own desires.

Maybe the Valentine’s Day and Ash Wednesday confluence isn’t a coincidence but a challenge. God’s left us a valentine for daily consumption. I’ve found feasting on His Word during Lent sweeter than any chocolate, but they do pair nicely. Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him (Psalm 34:8).